she became his soul mate while me wife for 28 yrs is ... what a pain that he should get rid ... then why dont he instead of punishing me .... i wanted out never wanted to be in his stupid triangle anyway

Domestic Violence Escape Kit

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hjUf8-LZJwM
Pack a survival kit.
Money for cab fare
A change of clothes
Extra house and car keys
Birth certificates
Driver’s license or passport
Medications and copies of prescriptions
Insurance information
Checkbook
Credit cards
Legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders
Address books
Valuable jewelry
Papers that show jointly owned assets

People found out. He and his mistress became a laughingstock at work

He blamed me and make me the guilty party ... claimed that i am insane while he went out depressed and diagnosed as such but in actual fact he hungers for her and wanted to turn me out but ....

He's never going to leave, because he has everything he needs right now — her for sex and emotional attachment, and his wife for security. Why should he leave? He has the best of both worlds!

He/she happened to be in the right spot at the right time. They are nothing special. Your spouse was looking for an affair, not looking for them in particular.
Don’t Make The Other Person More Important Than They Really Are
See The Relationship For What It Really Is: FANTASY
They Are An Illusion
Don’t Internalize Your Feelings - Such feelings can lead to depression, self – loathing and anxiety.