Sunday, July 26, 2009

the happiest moments of my life was last year .... working trip with my son during fasting and early raya puasa days.
i was with my youngest who accompanied me during my darkest yet most memorable time ... i really appreciate him being there for me and yet it was the most beautiful raya puasa i ever had since childhood.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Signs of a Bad Marriage Show Themselves Early
by Abigail van Buren

Dear Abby:

Two weeks ago, my husband let it slip that he wants a divorce. Since we were married, his personality has changed completely - he is not the man I married. I would like to pass along some tips for anyone considering marriage, and share some of the bright red flags I chose to ignore.

If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person's fault.
If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons.
Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
If he's over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don't marry him until he's financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he'll insist on it.
Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.
This is a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true that they all chose to side with his ex.
If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, run!
If he is one personality at work or with others, and another person alone with you, run.
If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don't take his word for it.
If he's an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.
If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.
If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
If he is never wrong and never apologises, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame. Or come to hate him.
If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ()," that's another sign of an abuser.
And if he's mean to children, pets or animals, recognise that he's pathological, and the next victim could be you.