Monday, August 31, 2009

He said :
yes as said before again and again i love u first she comes later in my life. now i love both. i stand by my words

full of bshit cos our Rasulullah loves Aisyah the most and he never mislead his other wives so. All knew that but he treated them equally except for his love.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Today i decided to check on my vision which i had earlier and had asked her the meaning ( it was in chinese) and her translation was something coffin but actually it means fire earth and wood. Precisely that is us in chinese element

Fire feeds the earth while wood destroy the earth and yet feeds the fire
The riddles still lingers

Another dream ... the fight worst without me ... my mission ????

My man again decided to be fair .. for this raya he decided to be with her cos she might be lonely
Fair is according to the dates allocated and allowing whoever to donate not take her rites to give to another. God i sure hate me

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Last nite he came and i relented ... somehow i knew his wife didnt know he came to berbuka with me
Early today opened an email from him wc hinted about me being a witch who is cursing his miserable life. What he cant take is take after all the ill treatment he had given me .. all i did was raised my hands to the almighty to show him guidance ... make an example out of his so that so other muslim and muslimah could go on this world and not be punished for their bad deeds. He was a lousy husband a lousy father and lousy son and also a lousy worker and boss Yet he believed that he was god's creation as gift to us. He walk this earth thinking that
And when all bad luck came his way ( me the only one cursing how loud) he tot i was practising witch craft and making his life miserable
Vanity and syaitan goes along together and this man seems full of them
His stupid new wife is just as bad perhaps igniting flames of the already burnt jar of anger. How could a 35 year go on claiming that she is so innocent of her rude behaviour or all the bad deeds she does. Going out and dating another woman's husband (is god's will) and flirting with the boss is so innocent that she claims to be ignorant of. Well he believes her .. as my son puts it ... she is brand new despite the flaws
And i am expired and waiting to be sent to a mental asylum but they feared i might be chanting there ... i really should move on and leave the two pathetic souls to their bitter end THE SNAKES deserve each other and Ya Allah let them coilled each other to death

Monday, August 24, 2009

Under an advise of an old and dear fren I decided to try to FORGET AND FORGIVE the man i despise.
and thus i wrote an email and the man came around noon .... hah i told him my problems and he didnt even seems to care ... why should him cos i degraded his brand new loving sweet wife
deep down he seems to agree but ah

I feel good and now hoping i get my wish of total freedom from them

Saturday, August 22, 2009

How much does RM 100 carries ... my darling husband gave me that sum a week ago and expect me to feedit the cats and his sons with it ... what other indication does that tells you He is the mathematical genius and his brand new Asst Manager wife could always help calculated the figure to see if his money is more than enough.

Fasting month and i found myself eating less to feed the children and pets. I guess i needed the diet.

The hungrier i get the more i felt that i was taken for a ride ... enough said the man doesnt love you what more his children. Perhaps after fasting month i should go report and he will bring the issue about me going bonkers ... then he can have the children ... i will leave

I am beyond caring about selfish men and their wife who boasted she is so loyal .. (loyal bafoon)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The man ignored my phone calls (perhaps he wanted to respect my desire for space ... haha one blew up later) and also ignored that we arepenniless ... no income to feed his sons and cats he left behind.
Finally he answered his son's sms and then 3 sms later to announce RM 100 has been deposited ... ooo that is a lot bought eggs friskies and bread and balance to his eldest we are left with RM 50 ... OH well i really need a job just to suppliment our income
A poem i wrote earlier -
I live in a house claimed to be mine yet taken over by another
To be a queen, but an aging queen waiting to be suceeded
Being told that i am happy with a happiness that isnt mine
And seeking a dream that i never dreamt
Am drowning in my sea of happiness created for me , yet not desired for me
Am overcome by utter joy built on my utter miseries
And the sound of laughter chocking my tears of silence
i am so happy that lunacy beckons me

Saturday, August 15, 2009

today i read tat Waheeda is getting married to her ustaz Akil and thus ... my disappointment rushed to my pit of stomach almost vormit and got eaten back why .. do i have a crush on the ustaz no .. far from it
Their love live mirrored the love life of my husband and his new wife
Months and years the gossip mongers related their affairs to me and i got proved of their affair ... only to be dauced by his lies and even to the extend of putting me a mental asylum
Two days back when i recalled the situation to them the proud wife said ... " itu kehendak Allah " the will of god he willed them to go dating and making the main wife mad, sent her to lunacy bin and told almost everyone that she is mad while the victimised gal was being slanderised and outstricised by public ... pity the whore who doesnt know what she is doing and pity the man who makes fun of his wife disillusionment.
But the Ustaz divorced his wife .. ending her mental torture and they forgave each other and invited his two young children meaning his ex was fully informed of the wedding and not left in the dark .. he did rite finally to her.
My man ... brought his wife into my house put her in my bed ... and if i dont mind slept together all three of us ... I minded
so i slept in the store room but they have a condo where they can go and release they tension sumwhere in another area of KL and me ... i do the cooking and taking care of children ... a fucking maid
they boasted that they took care of me .... keeping an eye on me .... i told them just let me alone but they laughed
they were having too muh fun "doing good" realizing or unrealizing that she took away so many of my rites and lastly desinated me to be an aging aunt "expired" as my son puts it
help ..... and when i blew up ... i am mad guessed i am mad after all