Each time he allows me to have my space .. he'll come and come up with so problems (never ending) with new wife cant handle and now .. 2 weeks and still staying occupying my house

What hurt the most is how my (in)significant other tries to whitewash his "infidelity" by claiming that he doesnt love the other woman ...haha ...have read his diary and his sms ..lies and more lies

I am too old to fight ... have nothing left ... so what I awaits my death and giving up this life ... I live on for my son ... and soon i will just be a speck in frothy water

today his 2nd wife admitted that she have been giving him a potion to "calm" him down. Each time he drinks he was / is given ... well she'll never change ... at least this time she is recite the quranic verses ...
I will not interfere with their unique love affair

as i watch him crying ... a joined him but not in his remorse but my inability to care anymore for him
I will do my duty as god wants me ... but i cant give him my heart ... it is broken too many time and all by him that i doubt if its there for anyone at all. I know i love my youngest son enormously but all others ... i care but i wont give them my all.
His new wife is trying desperately to be a friend but each step she takes ... i feel myself retreating backwards a thousand steps.
Is it my hatred or what is wrong with me ....

Memories can be a funny thing ... your mind can delete some events that you wont or refuse to remember
For me ...
As i realise that my significant other while enamoured with love for the other woman .. nearly killed me and brutally beat me as i cursed and threaten to expose their relationship (or her to the office )
The second time when we were separated I managed to steal his handphone thus with documented proof of their affair ... he tried to run me over his car uttering wanting to kill me and later as i grabbed hold of his precious mont blanc ... It was their love pack thing ... he bought a his and hers mont black abt rm 2000 each
and later threw me a peace offering of rm 200 pens as a token
He will kill me to protect her ... that is wat love is all about
Just as he called her to see him at the hospital so tat people think she is the nice one protect and loving him

the question now is ... i am tired and care not about wat happens Told my youngest to let go if she manage to kill him ... she will not harm us if all the money is hers.

Dream and nightmare ???
I dreamt last nite tat i was driving my 4 wheel and it got stuck on a grave stone ... There was relocation of graveyard and the right path happens to be the wrong path ... (some hidden meaning)
I got killed by some creatures of the night of rather and my grandmother (now youthful looking in mid 30's ) coming to get me .. rescueing me but i knew tat i somehow lost the battle and now dying ... my grand hugged me commented me on how much i looked like her and i was safe in her arms ... safe as in dying . I wanted to die and was comfortably being envelope in a mist of slow death ... until she looked at me and said telepathicly ... someone coming for you ... she looked hurt and i was disappointed and felt someone stroking my head ... and i woke being stroked by my husband ....
Oddly i felt disappointed ... i didnt want to come back and to wake up gently stroke by him ..... tears slided down my eyes without my realissing it

After months of trying to search my heart on why I cant believe him and her ...

his diary fell on my lap ... and i read all the pages with so much hatred at first and then became so sad

He could lie so much ... I knew he never love me anyway so why the charade

They had an affair and fell deeply in love with each other and corrupted their love with passionate escapes .. why include me

wasnt it enough

they want it all .. she even gave me The Duchess to watch just incase i didnt understand what's going on